Nurture Their Dreams
We all know every kid dreams of growing an octopus in their aquarium, then moving it to the bathtub, then the pond behind their house until it’s roughly the size of a bus, naming that octopus friend Larry, and taking Larry to school on Earth Day to show their friends this wonder of genetically engineered nature. But how will those kids achieve their dreams without early encouragement and guidance? Without a strong, nurturing hand, that kid could instead train Larry to rain down slimy destruction on all their enemies. Nobody wants that.
Only YOU Can Keep Kids Off Mad Science
Elementary teachers are often incentivized to focus on preparing their students for state or federally-required standardized testing such as Common Core, which are heavy on math and literacy. However, adding science, technology, and engineering to your classroom curriculum can have lifetime benefits for your students.
Early STEM education benefits kids by:
- Planting the seeds for critical thinking skills
- Getting kids interested early in STEM subjects
- Teaching kids abstract problem-solving skills rather than memorizing facts
- Better preparing kids for when they’ll eventually need to do STEM work in higher grades
- Showing kids positive ways to utilize a massive invertebrate they grew behind their house.
What’s Best for Humanity
Listen, there are a lot of things one could do with a giant octopus. It could be an advocate for ocean conservation and marine sustainability, making the rounds at schools across the country and posing for photo ops, one friendly tentacle wrapped around eight smiling children. Or, it could be a tool of vengeance, flipping cars and destroying buildings as it stalks down Main Street hunting whoever wronged its master. Or, it could be part of a misguided plot to bring the world together by dropping it on a city and then blaming the resulting destruction on an alien.
Teach Them to Help the World, Not Destroy It
These are just a few examples, but clearly the first option is best for humanity. Budding scientists need loving guidance to show them healthy ways to express their feelings and instill in them a love of science to help the world, not destroy it. By the time they’re getting beat up for their lunch money, it’s probably too late.
Stave Off Bad Influences
Kids are going to learn about science eventually. Do you want them learning about Schrödinger’s wavefunction and the second law of thermodynamics from their troubled friends at school, or from you?
…And Keep Kids Off Facebook Science Too
Unfortunately, one day you’ll probably need to explain to a grown adult that despite what they’ve read on the internet—specifically Facebook—5G doesn’t cause COVID, vaccines don’t cause autism, fluoride isn’t a government mind control plot, and the earth is not flat, among other wacky things.
News Produced by Russian Propaganda Outlets Might Not Be Legit, Spread the Word
Can you imagine how much better the world would be right now if those people had a positive STEM influence in their lives when they were young? An influence who had encouraged them to invest their mental energy into, say, growing an unusually large marine animal for the betterment of mankind instead of binging Russian-produced/Facebook-delivered fake news articles and ranting about how the sheeple need to wake up?
Gene-editing an Octopus > Bizarre Conspiracy Theories
Letting students explore STEM in elementary school can prevent this sad fate. A kid who’s excitedly gene-editing a giant octopus to name Larry and be their bestest friend in the whole wide world is less likely to one day fall down the rabbit hole of misinformation. It’s just not as interesting.
Discourage Lizard People
Well, they could one day grow a race of lizard people to secretly run the world, but that’s where you come in. Instill in them a love of science and respect for humanity.
Only YOU can keep them off the mad science, and Facebook!
Written by Shana Figueroa
